No visit

Coming home from Pennsylvania late Sunday night to the news of a sudden death in the congregation, I was unable to visit on Monday. Since I'm leaving town again today, there will be no visit this week.

That doesn't feel good. On the one hand, I can't say I go to my visits eagerly. They are easier than they used to be, but they are still draining and hard. On the other hand, who knows how long it will be before I walk into her room and she will have no glimmer of recognition.

I have to wonder. Does she know I wasn't there? Does she know a day is missed or does she have just a vague notion that I haven't been around for awhile? Or maybe she's oblivious and hasn't missed a thing. She may not have missed anything. But I have. I've missed another chance...another moment...another piece of life slips through my fingers.